5 YEARS ON... Where did I go? // Honest Life Update
Omg hi!
Well, it's been a long time since I've written one of these, 5 years infact. I'm shielding from COVID-19 at the moment with not a lot to do so thought I'd put my energy into something productive instead of playing Animal Crossing for 12 hour a day. A lot has happened and changed in 5 years, but as you can see from the photo above, I'm very much still passionate about makeup and I'm still dying my hair weird colours. (I think the yellow hair is my favourite so far.)
So... I guess we'll start from November 2015 which was when my last post was. Well, I had just finished an apprenticeship which was my first ever job which I absolutely adored. I worked a lot between 2015 and 2017 when I finally went to university.
2016 was a good year, I worked a lot, started a course with Open University in Psychology and then in May 2016 I went to Disneyland Paris with my pals Rachel and Karis and I had a blast, I then went back in November 2016 with my parents and my little sister and it was amazing!
In 2017 I ended up finishing that course with Open University, with that and my work experience was enough for me to be accepted into university to study Social Work. I was over the moon! It was probably the biggest achievement in my life so far. So in September 2017 I packed all of my stuff up and moved all the way to Nottingham to pursue my dream of being a social worker. I met my best friend, Charl in first year at university and she was my absolute rock all throughout.
In 2018, after years and years of being told by doctors and psychiatrists that I had anxiety and depression, I finally received a diagnosis of Bipolar type 2. It felt like a huge slap in the face and I wasn't expecting it. It's not very talked about but it's so so difficult to find the right medication for you that will actually work. I spent months on lithium, only for it to make me feel worse and it took a year for me to find the meds that I am on now and have been on for a year that have helped stabilise my moods.
In April 2018 I got myself into a horribly toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, I'd be lying if I said that the things that were done and said to me weren't still etched into my brain to this day.
September 2018, I started my first work placement for my degree, I was working with adults at risk of homelessness who had secondary mental health involvement. I started this placement whilst in one of the worst depressive episodes I think I've ever had. November 2018, I tried to take my life. 2018 was a horrible year for me. A lot of people close to me at the time showed me their true colours after my suicide attempt and I cut off a lot of people not long after that as a result.
Fast forward, a month after my suicide attempt. December 2018, I ended up going for drinks with an old friend who I hadn't seen since I was about 17, he turned out to be the love of my life. Me and Joe ended up making things official in January 2019 and we've been together ever since. We're currently living together at my parents house and will soon be moving out together once I'm out of shielding and I'm able to start working again. Joe has seen me in some right states and he's never judged me nor made me feel bad for my bad days. I've had so much fun with him and he makes me smile almost all the time.
That takes us up to 2020...
We all know 2020 has been crap, let's not act like it hasn't been.
January 2020, I received some pretty life-changing news. I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease (one of two forms of inflammatory bowel disease) and I was found to have fistulas all around my digestive system (fistulas are basically just holes), I am currently undergoing a form of chemotherapy to assist my recovery but Crohn's is a lifelong condition and there is no guarantee that I will be remission any time soon. Unfortunately due to my deteriorating physical and mental health, I had to withdraw from university as I was deemed not 'fit to practice' as a social worker. I was 3 months away from graduating.
Then Miss Corona made an appearance which meant because of me still being in a flare and undergoing chemo, I am in the shielding category. (In the UK this means, people with certain underlying health conditions, or taking immunosuppressive medications, we aren't allowed to leave our homes at all, these rules recently changed and we're allowed out for one daily walk)
Up until the other day, I hadn't left my house for just over 90 days which has been really difficult for me. I went for a drive with my mum the other day (I didn't leave the car, of course) and everything just felt weird.
So we're all up to date now I think! I wanted to restart this blog to document my journey with Crohn's Disease, as I know I've found it a great help reading blogs of others dealing with IBD.
Also, because of Crohn's I've had to completely alter my diet and I thought it would be good to maybe feature some of my favourite homemade gluten-free and vegan recipes that I've been making recently.
I'm really looking forward to getting this blog up and running again, hopefully with more regular posts. Let me know what kind of posts you'd like to see and I hope Corona hasn't messed with your lives too much, it's such a horrible situation.
Lots of love,
Rachel xo
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