Rachel Sarah XO

Hey guys!

So, people always say 'people are ignorant towards the things they fear or do not understand', well please, start understanding, it's not rocket science.

I'd say this post is inspired by my dad, he's super ignorant when it comes to mental health and just doesn't really take an interest and doesn't bother to research it, whereas my mum has experienced it herself and it runs on her side of the family so she understands it a lot more.

So, one down side to having depression is the sheer lack of motivation you have, I know that recently it's hit me really hard so I've been finding it hard to do simple things like, take a shower, make dinner, get dressed. So there's pleeeenty of things my dad's said to me recently that I'd quite happily slap him in the face for if he says it again, like:

• "For god's sake, how long have you been lounging on that sofa for? It's been a week now."
• "WILL YOU JUST GET OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS FOR ONCE?"
• "Wash your hair, it looks beyond greasy."
• "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get some housework done."
• Being called a 'lazy shit' is always a fun one.
• My sleeping pattern is completely messed up, I'll sleep on the sofa during the day and then stay up all night downstairs so "If I come downstairs tomorrow morning for work and you're still down here I'm going to make sure you don't sleep."

• Survivor: My Story - The Next Chapter by Sharon Osbourne.
• RSVP by Helen Warner.
• The Knife Of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking #1) by Patrick Ness.
• One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest by Ken Kesey.
• Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows by J.K Rowling.
• American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.
• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.
• The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick.
• Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason by Helen Fielding.

Hey guys!

So today mum had a hospital appointment and because we had a few hours to kill, I thought, why not pop into Boots and look at the sale stuff since Boots is only 10 minutes down the road from the hospital. I was already aware there was a 70% sale but I'd already began thinking I'd walk out there empty handed as all of the good stuff would have been gone already, but I was wrong! I got some absolute steals today!

I thought it would have been safer to go into a shop aswell instead of online as everything would have sold out instantly anyways.
Admittedly, the shelves were almost empty except from the 7 different perfume gift sets, couple of make up palettes and some random bits, gutted that there was no Soap & Glory, but oh well!


Lady Gaga Fame 30ml Perfume Gift Set - Was £24.50, reduced to £7.35.

Hey guys!
I feel I've been slacking a bit on my posts lately and I haven't had the chance to buy many beauty items lately, there won't be a review for a week or so yet (sorry!) but I do hope you've all entered my giveaway to win a gorgeous bridal/prom tiara!

This post will be written entirely from my experiences with anxiety and panic attacks throughout my school and college life. So in November I actually wasn't able to deal with my panic attacks and anxiety in college and ended up dropping out 2 months in, so this post may seem a bit hypocritical, but I survived 5 years of high school at least!

My panic attacks really kicked in when I started my new high school in year 8, my mum took me to the doctors and the woman thought I just had really bad asthma (any good doctor would be able to tell, that was not the case).
I actually went through school without telling my teachers anything about my social anxiety and panic attacks (although I'm sure they'd already noticed) until maybe, end of year 10 when my attendance started getting so bad, I'd make up any lie to make sure they weren't aware of what was going on because at that time I felt alone and ashamed about what was wrong with me, I felt weird. I went to countless amounts of attendance meetings with the heads of the school and the school governors and it wasn't until they threatened my mum with court that I finally went to the deputy head (who always ran the attendance meetings) and told her what was happening, that just made school 50% easier, I didn't have to worry about my attendance as much as I was, I had a reason for walking out of lessons mid-way through when I felt panicky and the school did so much to try and support me, I no longer had to go to assemblies (that was when my anxiety was at it's peak, sitting on the floor in a crowded sports hall with a couple hundred people just scared the shit out of me basically) so my form tutor and deputy head found a way for me to still do something during form time when I was meant to be at assembly, I'd go and see the school counsellor lady and she'd work on helping me with my panic attacks and she'd help with any work I was struggling with. The one thing I was so appreciative of, I realised the November before my exams when I was doing my mock exams that my panic attacks was worse in exams than ever, I was able to sit in a classroom with about 10 other people (which was sooo much better than sitting in room with a hundred or so kids.)
Now, the social anxiety side of things wasn't so fun either, I found it really hard to talk to anybody outside of my friendship group and then, even talking to people in my friendship group at the time was pretty hard, it wasn't until I'd fully learnt to trust my friends that I was completely comfortable talking to them. I was unable to work with other people in the class, I was quiet and just sat at the back in most of my lessons, I wouldn't dare participate in lessons which often got me in trouble.

Sometimes I don't know what I'd have done without Shauna, Rachel and Karis in my final year at school. Shauna was the one that was always there in my lessons and if I ever had a panic attack, she'd explain to the teacher what was going on if  I just walked out of a lesson and if I needed to calm myself down, she was there. Rachel and Karis were always there for me and they were the only people that knew about what was going on that I didn't feel were judging me for it, they're the most understanding people. I know I'm not easy to be friends with but they were there for me when my anxiety was at it's worst and I couldn't be more grateful.

Unfortunately I failed all of my exams and it's probably to do with the fact I had about two panic attacks in each exam, but hey, I tried my best!

Tips for college/school:

• Let the school/college know as soon as you feel something is not quite right or as soon as you've been diagnosed. It takes a lot to speak to someone in authority about such a private subject, but your teachers will only want the best for you and high school will seem a lot easier once you've told them.
• There's absolutely nothing wrong with sticking to your friendship group and don't ever feel like you have to mix with others in your class, if the school/college are aware of your problem, likelyhood is, they may make an exception and let you stay with your friends when doing group work.
• There are going to be people who'll ask you 'oh, why did you walk out of the lesson?', you can either tell them what happened or tell them to bugger off, it's none of their business. As long as the teachers are aware you've walked out and know the reason why, they're the only people that need to know.
• Try your hardest to participate in lessons, I've learnt that no one even cares if you get the answer wrong, you're more likely to get praised for having a go than not trying at all.
• If you need extra support, ask for it. Don't go through your entire high school life worrying about everything. If you need extensions on coursework because your attendance is bad, ask for it. If you need someone to help you with exam stress, ask for it. You're going to seem a lot more determined to get through high school and do well therefore you're probably going to be allowed the extra support. If you go to school on the odd occasion and don't ask for the work you've missed and don't complete the coursework in time without a reasonable excuse, the school/college aren't going to care, you're going to come across as lazy and they won't want to help you.
• You may not need the extra support, you may just need the school/college to get off your back about your attendance but if they offer the support, might aswell take it, it's going to help you so much more in the long run.
• Finally, if you're worried about your exams, tell someone. If you feel like you're not sure about a piece of work you've studied that's sure to come up in the exam, tell whatever teacher that teaches you that subject and of course they'll help you. Teachers only want you to do the best you can and if any little push can help towards passing your exams, they're going to take the opportunity to help.